Forever

"God has been faithful. He will be again. His love & compassion? It has no end." –Sara Groves

It's so crazy that one minute you can be laughing and praising God, and then the next minute you feel so pressured by different worries in your life! It's funny –cuz I'm never worried or upset about anything in life. Except money. Because I never really have any.

I've been giving plasma now since January, which brings in a nice profit to use for gas. And I occasionally like to buy Kelly & others something special. Trips to Wausau are expensive, so gas money is needed for my classes. Well, I had 6 plasma dates set up for the rest of May, which would put me at having about $120 for gas and end-of-the-year gifts. All set and ready, I made sure I had tithed and even gave a little extra toward camp ministry. I felt financially secure. That was Tuesday.

Wednesday I went to give plasma. What happens? I get deferred. Never again will I be able to give plasma or blood. I'm 18 years old and I'm off the list FOREVER. That's a hard word to grasp until something that big comes up. FOREVER.

I was ready to cry Wednesday night. Crying. And I wasn't crying because I was out of money. I cried because of that word. Forever. I have sooo many more years ahead of me, but now I'll never be able to give plasma. Gone forever.

I got to thinking Thursday morning. Our name is written on another list forever. A heavenly list. If we make a choice to follow Him, God has written our names in the Book of Life. FOREVER. And funny as it is, the word "forever" isn't hitting me as hard as the giving blood thing. God & Forever? That's still AMAZING though. Forever. And now this made me cry in happiness. A beautiful forever.

Tonight has been a little tougher for me. I'm beginning to realize I want money for a few friends' weddings and I need to make 2 trips to Wausau before I leave GB and the church I attend is about a 30 minute drive there & back. (I think?) Thanks Trucky for your lack of gas milage.
And I'm out of my interpreting job this summer. Just camp. But that will be MORE than worth it.

Best part about it all? God has been faithful in the past. He has ALWAYS provided. He will again. He will again & again & again. Praise God.

So God? What's next in this step of faith?

Chasing His Heart

"David--He chased God's own heart. All I ever seem to chase is me." -The Chasing Song, Andrew Peterson

As some of you may know, I recently moved to Green Bay & wake up at 5:30 for a "full-time job" with 40-50 hours a week. I actually thought going from 3 school days and 18 hours of work to THIS would be insanely impossible--but I actually find it beautiful. There is something wonderful with a consistency and stability. In college, I was sporadically waking up, randomly doing homework, and constantly on the internet. Now? Well, I'm still on the internet each evening, but my life is SO different! One thing I love about my new "life" here in Green Bay is that each morning my uncle and I sit to read our Bibles and eat breakfast. So beautiful. So peaceful.
And why did I start doing this? Because I saw HIM do it, and I thought, Hmm. I should read my Bible at breakfast too. So as a side note, I can't WAIT to set that example for my children.

But anywhos. Back on topic. I've been studying a lot of the Old Testament, because I feel very unfamiliar with the stories. When I studied the New Testament, I took a good year to read over & over the chapters and books--almost memorizing where things were sectioned off. Last summer I began digesting that New Testament--digging it out for extra meaning. This year's plan? Read Old Testament over and over again. Next year? Study it for in-depth meaning. Of course, I'm already doing that now.

STILL not on "topic" yet. DAVID. GOD. HIS PLAN. That's my topic.

As I mentioned to a friend last night, I have been reading II Samuel 6-12. Those are some of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I was first interested after reading David's prayer in chapter 7. David decides, "Oh. I'm gonna build a temple for God, because I have a big kingdom and God just has a tent." But instead, God says that He doesn't want a "house to dwell in." He's GOD! So God continues telling David that He has an AWESOME plan for David's throne. That of his descendant will come a King that establishes the throne forever.

2 Sam 7:12-13
12 When your days are over and you rest with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, who will come from your own body, and I will establish his kingdom.
13 He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.
(NIV)

And what does David do? Well, remember when I posted a blog about worship being instinctive & immediate? That's right. David praises God. But check out this AWESOME prayer:

2 Sam 7:18-29
18 Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said: "Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?
19 And as if this were not enough in your sight, O Sovereign LORD, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign LORD?
20 "What more can David say to you? For you know your servant, O Sovereign LORD.
21 For the sake of your word and according to your will, you have done this great thing and made it known to your servant.
22 "How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears.
23 And who is like your people Israel-- the one nation on earth that God went out to redeem as a people for himself, and to make a name for himself, and to perform great and awesome wonders by driving out nations and their gods from before your people, whom you redeemed from Egypt?
24 You have established your people Israel as your very own forever, and you, O LORD, have become their God.
25 "And now, LORD God, keep forever the promise you have made concerning your servant and his house. Do as you promised,
26 so that your name will be great forever. Then men will say, 'The LORD Almighty is God over Israel!' And the house of your servant David will be established before you.
27 "O LORD Almighty, God of Israel, you have revealed this to your servant, saying, 'I will build a house for you.' So your servant has found courage to offer you this prayer.
28 O Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant.
29 Now be pleased to bless the house of your servant, that it may continue forever in your sight; for you, O Sovereign LORD, have spoken, and with your blessing the house of your servant will be blessed forever."
(NIV)

That right there just sets a PERFECT example of a prayerfully-minded man. WOW.

Well, let's continue. Chapters 8, 9, & 10. "In the course of time, David defeated this people and this people and this people...." Because of who? GOD. <--This could definitely lead into another passage on Psalm 33, but I'll relax. Too much information!

Chapter 11. Uh-oh. We all know this story. David sees a beautiful woman. Uriah's wife Bathsheba. This woman was more than likely gorgeous, hot, sexy, beautiful, and more-- because he SAW this woman from his roof top. Now, I don't know how close the houses were to his kingdom. But wow!

As the story goes, David sleeps with her, works his way around hiding it, gets word that Bathsheba is pregnant, and Uriah gets put at the front of the battle lines to die. David gets his wife Bathsheba, the baby is "struck by God and becomes ill" and dies.
David sleeps with his new wife and they have a second child together: Solomon who is also known as Jedidiah. (fun fact. I didn't know that!)

So here we have it. The summary: Something GREAT (God's promise) causes David to instantly worship God (the prayer) but then not too soon after, he falls into temptation (sins with Bathsheba) but God used this sin for the good of His glory (Solomon would be the ancestor of Joseph--the husband of Mary, the mother of Christ).

Is this not AMAZING? God has promised us so much in our lives. And so many times we have to live by faith--not knowing if plans now will affect our lives later, or hundreds of years later! But sometimes, in the midst of "good times," we forget God's goodness and fall into temptation & sin. Just like David. But despite these times--God can use our evil & sin and make good come from it. Just like Solomon and his purpose to be an ancestor of Jesus Christ. WOW. David wouldn't see THAT plan come into effect until hundreds and hundreds of years later. Pretty neat, huh?

That's enough for now. This is ultimately the longest post I've written and will more than likely be used for a devotion!